Mirrored reflection: Healing from insecurities
I have days where one glance in the mirror can trigger the reflection of trauma, insecurity, pride, or some physical unpleasantry, even though I know Jesus intimately.
The fact that this kept occurring made me feel guilty, and I would ask “Have I not been truly set free?” or “Am I failing God?”
It was easy to say these things were no longer a problem when they were not rising up or causing issues, but when some trigger brought them back to the forefront, it seemed difficult to access the “freedom” I knew to be inside of me.
It felt hypocritical, but the fact remained that no matter what I did, I was taken by surprise that the reflection in the mirror stared back in disgust, pain, and insecurity.
I began to realize that these moments were coming from a merry-go-round of collected lies from the past that were trying to drag my feet into the muck and mire when all I desired was to live in the confidence of who God had made me to be.
Would I ever be able to truly live free?
Because I am a follower of Christ and am made new, I was determined not to flounder in insecurity the rest of my life. This led me to openly seek God on these issues, and the Holy Spirit revealed that I needed to have both head and heart knowledge about the true heart of God.
He showed me that I did not need to ignore, push down, dwell, or act out on these things; instead, it was important to look at these things face to face with Him. To listen to what He had to say each and every time. He helped me recognize things for what they were, and that identification was half the battle, which gave way for opportunities to shift from having merely human vision to one that is holy.
When I catch myself looking through fleshly eyes, I now understand it does not mean I must bury or dwell in that reflection, nor feel insecure. I am still free, and those bad feelings, that guilt, it’s just a trap.
I now know that it is okay to ask for wisdom in this area any time the need arises. He also gave me the gentle and beautiful reminder that I am fashioned by Him-not this world, nor its circumstances.
The desire to live confidently in who God has made me to be is not so far away; it is a matter of letting the Lord help me apply what I learn gracefully to both my own reflection and the reflection of others.
Scripture for meditation
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6, NIV)
Prompts for reflection and journaling
Do you have any nagging thoughts or insecurities that regularly come up for you?
What kinds of thoughts are you dwelling on about yourself, your body, and where you are in life?
What is God saying about you that is different from what you currently think?
What is 1 step you can take this week to get his truth into your mind and heart? (such as memorize a scripture, meditation on affirmations, etc.)
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