3 Ways to Deal with Toxic Thoughts
“I’ll never be good enough.”
“I wonder what they think of me.”
“Nobody understands what I go through.”
“Nothing ever goes right for me.”
If you ever lie awake at night with thoughts like these, you’re not alone. As the daughter of an alcoholic Vietnam veteran, I have struggled with toxic thoughts since the day he left us when I was twelve.
Even after becoming a Christ follower at the age of twenty, I continued to worry constantly over what other people thought of me. I was easily offended and doubted anyone could truly love me. After many years now of a growing relationship with Jesus, I am learning how to deal with negative thoughts.
1. Renew your mind in God’s Word.
The Bible tells us that we must be transformed by the “renewing of our mind” (Romans 12:2). The enemy uses our past hurts and mistakes to keep us dwelling on wrong thoughts. In order to be transformed in our thinking, we have to allow God’s truth to change, not just our hearts, but our minds as well. Colossians 3:2 tells us to set our minds on things above.
Daily Bible reading will allow that truth to penetrate our souls. Eventually our negative thoughts will begin to align with God’s Word. Find a Bible reading plan and spend time every day soaking in His transforming truth. Even fifteen minutes a day will make a difference.
2. Take those negative thoughts captive.
Another key to dealing with toxic thoughts is being able to identify them. This requires being mindful of our thought life. We have to intentionally think about what we’re thinking about. When we realize our thoughts don’t align with truth, we are able to take control and change the narrative.
Second Corinthians 10:5 says we can “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” In other words, we acknowledge a particular thought is not of God, and we make a decision to not dwell on it. Instead, we give it over to Jesus and ask Him to change our thinking to align with His.
3. Replace your negative thoughts with truth.
I have found that there is one more step to experiencing victory in this area. We have to replace the negative thoughts with godly ones. Philippians 4:8 literally tells us what to think about:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (NIV).”
This step may take a little more effort, but it is so worth it! Identify what thoughts you struggle with most. For instance, my biggest struggle has always been with rejection. Find biblical truth to counter those thoughts and write them out on notecards. Read them aloud daily until your heart and mind commit them to memory.
Then when the toxic thoughts come, you can choose to “think about these things” instead. I won’t lie and pretend that all these years later, I no longer struggle at all with toxic thoughts. I still do, but at least now I don’t have to give in to them. When we put God’s Word to work in our lives, the Holy Spirit will use that truth to transform both our minds and our hearts. Eventually, the negative thoughts do lessen as we are renewed day by day.
