Accepted: Resting in the love and grace of God
I have spent much of my life trying to earn the love of others. My father, a veteran with PTS, left us when I was twelve. The resulting fear of rejection and lack of security created a need for acceptance and approval.
Pouring myself into schoolwork did earn me good grades, a college scholarship, and the approval of others; but the feeling of acceptance quickly faded. So, I turned to boys, seeking the attention and affection I lacked from my dad. This, too, was only temporary and could not fill the longing in my heart to truly matter.
Then I discovered that the God of the universe sees me and knows me. He gave His life for me, in spite of my sin and failures. My heart was captivated by a love I had never known. I turned to Him and surrendered my life to Him. I began to seek Him through prayer, Bible study, and worship. My local church discipled me in the faith, teaching me what it means to follow Jesus.
But my fear of rejection soon slipped back into my thoughts.
What if I don’t read my Bible enough?
What if I don’t pray enough?
What if I don’t serve or give enough?
What if I mess up?
And I did. I failed. I messed up. And the self-condemnation began.
I’m not worthy of God’s love.
I’ve got to do better for Him to love me.
So, my response was to work harder, read more, pray longer. And soon my relationship with God became a legalistic ritual that no longer brought me joy. And that is not God’s intention for the spiritual disciplines of prayer and Bible study.
The good news of the gospel is that God’s love doesn’t depend on us. We cannot earn His love or favor. Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us that it is by grace we have been saved through our faith. This salvation is a gift. It can’t be earned. We can’t work hard enough to save ourselves, and we can’t perform enough to earn God’s love. We already have it.
When God’s truth finally made its way into my heart, I began to comprehend the depth of His love for me. His love is not based on my efforts. His love for me is based on who He is. He’s not a like a father who leaves or a husband who hurts. He is the One who never leaves (Psalm 27:10) and whose love never fails (Lamentations 3:22), even when I fail Him (Romans 8:35-39).
When I surrendered my life to Him, I received His grace and favor in that moment, and He never changes (Hebrews 13:8). Now I am free to pursue Him through the disciplines of prayer and Bible study—not to earn His love or approval, but to dwell in His presence where there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).
Scripture for meditation
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
(Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV)
Prompts for reflection and journaling
In what ways do you attempt to earn God’s love and favor?
What Bible verses remind you of His faithful and unchanging love?
How can you set your hearts on those truths this week as reminders to rest in His love and grace?
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