Grieving vs. healing: Making space for God to bandage our wounds

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
-Psalm 147:3 (NLT)

In the past year and a half, I’ve traveled on both grieving and healing paths. These are the similarities and differences I’ve noticed on these necessary journeys for overall health.

First, I’ll share a short definition of grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross famously delineated five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

In my recent walk through grief, I traversed through all these stages. I discovered they are not linear. Sometimes several steps of grief occur in a single day. But all of them were necessary on my journey.

I believe grief is necessary before true healing can occur. We must say goodbye to what we wanted and needed before we can heal. Grieving allows us to say goodbye. Healing can slowly occur while we are grieving, but mostly, grieving is letting go of the past. This always hurts, no matter what type of loss we experience.

In the grief stage, God slowly begins to heal our broken hearts. He bandages our wounds, protecting us from further infection. He gives us grief as a gift. It creates a space in which healing will eventually occur.

Once the main stages of grief have been processed, the full healing process begins. This is a stage with less hurt and loss than grief. It is when you can truly embrace new hope without being so tied to the past like you were when you were grieving.

Healing feels lighter than grieving, yet neither stage can be rushed. They are both intentionally slow, because God knows what’s best for us, and often His best takes longer to arrive than we expect. Both stages are about trusting in God’s timing.

Like grief, healing can sometimes feel like one step forward, two steps back. It takes patience and persistence to step forward when you aren’t yet fully healed, and you may feel wobbly or unsure.

However, these forward steps are a key component of the healing stage because you’ll have a renewed desire to get moving. In grief you often feel like sitting still, but as you heal your motivation changes.

One day you’ll notice your heart doesn’t hurt as much anymore. You’ll notice that the bandages on your wounds are no longer necessary because you’re healed. But you’ll always be able to look back on the grief process, which was essential before you reached the healing stage.

You’ll be stronger because you walked on both grieving and healing paths–two gifts God provides out of his loving care for us.


Scripture for meditation
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
-Psalm 147:3 (NLT)

Prompts for reflection or journaling
What messages did you hear about grief and loss growing up?
Do you believe it’s good for you to go through the grieving process after loss or tragedy in your life (big or small)?
Do you feel you have been able to grieve and heal from the losses in your own life?
If not, what is holding you back?

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