Rushing into the throne room of God: Boldly asking for God’s help
As I pulled away from the preschool, I saw her laughing on the swing set, kicking her feet in the air. She was oblivious to the weight of what we were experiencing lately—the testing, the waiting, the quiet voices from the medical professionals. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw his little face asleep in the backseat, but I just couldn’t seem to smile as I drove toward the highway.
The darkness of the January sky matched the angst in my spirit as I found a place to park. Pulling out the stroller, I could only think, “This can’t be happening.” For the last 15 years, I had complete faith that anything was possible with the Lord, but the ground beneath my feet wasn’t feeling so solid anymore. I picked up my four-month-old son and buckled him in for our morning walk.
I started praying, “Lord, have your way in our life.” But I felt like a liar. I didn’t want His way! I wanted healing! Our two-year-old daughter had recently undergone testing for major medical problems. Along with the diaphragmatic hernia that nearly took her life when she was two months old, we were now being told the x-rays showed evidence of her heart being reversed, which would possibly cause other long-term health problems.
Tears started running down my face as I pushed my four-month-old on the trail. How could I even talk to God about this? Did He really see and really care about me? My little girl had already faced a life-threatening hole in her diaphragm; this just didn’t seem fair for her to have to face another major health issue.
Rushing into the throne room
For the first time in my life, I pleaded for my daughter’s life. “Lord, I know she’s your child, but she belongs to me, and I don’t want anything to be wrong with her. You can change this. I want her to be OK. Please, do it, Lord.”
I had never spoken to the Lord this way, but I wasn’t concerned about whether I was talking to Him properly or not. I was afraid for my child’s future, so I rushed into the throne room of God and threw myself down at His mercy. Calling out to Him as my loving and kind Father, “Please, Lord, help me!”
A peace that transcends understanding
And something strange happened. I suddenly felt completely at peace. Not a fake peace; a real peace. I had no idea what this meant, but I knew God was with us. While meeting with medical specialists the next week, the doctors reviewed her new scans and said they couldn’t explain it, but all of her scans were normal. We smiled because we knew exactly what God had done. He met us right where we were, and he healed her.
I speak of this very gently because I know this might not be your story. Maybe you didn’t get healing, and my heart goes out to you, friend. But know that God sees, and He knows, and His love for you abounds. His peace is always available to you as you wait for your healing.
Scripture for meditation
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Prompts for reflection and journaling
When you think about hard situations in your life, do you feel confident you can boldly ask for God’s help?
Can you think of a time that you know God showed up in your life? Or maybe the testimony of a friend?
What, if anything, keeps you from turning to God in times of great need?
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